Welcome. Let’s get introductions out of the way. Don’t forget to tell me a bit about yourself too.

Selasie Bulmuo - Strategist For Insightful Living

I Write, I Speak, I Engage passionately mainly with the disadvantaged, the hurt and the socially struggling one who is seeking true redirection and support to discover hidden potential and to recover from the ravages of life.

Iron sharpens iron. Great minds ignite one another for the greater good. I am happy to have you here.

I am Selasie Bulmuo – a Strategist For Insightful Living. I am absolutely thrilled to welcome you to my E- home full of lovely, deliciously ‘good for you’ inspired ideas, resources and opportunities to connect with others.

On this site you will find relevant information, uplifting writings and resources that are designed to captivate your senses and leverage your efforts towards becoming the best you.

Enjoy your visit here. Read! Challenge yourself! Think! Invest!

Also visit my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/SelasieBulmuo This page is an E-Hub of wisdom, spirituality, posters, quotes, messages and social synergy aimed at providing the inspiration and support you need to steer your life back into the right track.

Selasie Joan Bulmuo – Who is she? What does she do?

• She is a Qualified Social Worker and Director of SJB Resource Limited, a Social Capital Builder focused on the provision of services to individuals and groups particularly families in crisis. SJB Resource Ltd (www.sjbresource.co.uk) is a Social Capital Builder.
Blog – http://www.socialjackpotbuddy.wordpress.com (social topical issues, articles and networking).

• An Author and writer, she writes across genres and styles mainly poetry, short stories, articles, reflections, wisdom quotes, plays and songs all aimed at reaching out to others where they are and accompanying them on the journey to where they are destined to be. She also writes fiction and non-fiction books cutting across both the mainstream and Christian domains. This blog http://www.selasiebulmuo.wordpress.com mainly features her Poems, Posters (Inspirational Snippets), Smart Talk and her Fictional Works including excerpts from her books both existing ones and soon to be released ones.

• She Co-Pastors Fountain Gate Chapel, Life Pastures, North London with her husband Reverend Grant Bulmuo and also with a team of able Pastors and Ministers. The congregation affectionately call her Lady Pastor Selasie. She is a dynamic preacher of the word of God and is known for her revelatory and wise teachings which challenges people to re-think, reconsider and recover from the adversities of life and move towards walking in the sure purposes of God for their lives. Visit her blog http://www.neitherdoicondemnyou.wordpress.com for christian articles, expositions, Q&A, etc

. She runs the ‘The Marriage Preparation In 3-Step Programme’- (MP3-STEP PROGRAMME) made up of 2 modules in each step run over a period of six months, once a month as a transitionary preparation programme from singleness to married life. It is open to singles, singles in relationships and is also a really good refresher for married couples. An E- Course is soon to be launched. Visit the Facebook Page at http://www.facebook.com/MarriagePreparationIn3StepsProgramme

. She heads the Women’s Ministry of her local church. The HAYIL Ladies Ministry, North London. Her vision is to encourage women to DARE to break all limitations and be who they were intended to be against all odds. There are regular Influence Meetings for women to network sharing their goals and ambitions and finding resources, help and advise as well as a market for their entrepreneurial endeavours. There are revival, prayer and ministration meetings where women are released and anointed to overcome. Practical Workshops focusing on Confidence building, leadership etc are also run frequently. Visit us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/Hayilladiesfgcnorthlondon

Selasie is a mother of two boys and a daughter.

• For further information on her books, writings, blog posts, Video and Audio messages, please visit http://www.selasiebulmuo.com

• For invitations to speaking engagements, conferences, workshops and other Bespoke events please send a request to selasiebulmuo@yahoo.com

Short Version Bio – Selasie J Bulmuo

She Writes, She Speaks, She Engages passionately mainly with the disadvantaged, the hurt and the socially struggling one who is seeking true redirection and support to discover hidden potential and to recover from the ravages of life. She is:
• A Qualified Social Worker and the Director of SJB Resource Limited, a Social Capital Builder.
• A Mother, Wife & Pre – Maital Counsellor, Examplar to Women and Co – Pastor of Fountain Gate Chapel North London.
• The author of ‘Warm Honey Drizzle & Lemon – for my blocked up soul’ a collection of poems with accompanying graphics and short fictional stories that mimic real life triumphs and tragedies; experiences to which others can relate and see their own stories and lives through. A reaching out book soon to be published.
For further information on this and other upcoming books, blog posts, speaking engagements, workshops, conferences and other projects please visit http://www.selasiebulmuo.com

ENOUGH SAID!!! - Articles by Selasie Bulmuo

Two Extremely Different Mission Statements – The Choice Is Yours

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. (John 10:10 KJV)

I love mission statements. They tell me what an organisation is all about in a few words. This helps to cut to the chase and to assess if what the organisation does or promises to do is in line with its raison d’être. It’s good to know what it is you will end up with at the end of the day. 

So let’s cut to the chase. Let’s get down to business. There are always two opposing sides to every story. You cannot support both side. You have to choose which team you support.

The teams may have different advertising gimmicks. Some put forward the promise of enjoyment after the toil. Some put forward enjoyment now and toil later. Some donot even mention the toil but any discerning person will know that there is no such thing as a free lunch.

So let’s look at two specific mission statements as indicated by the biblical quote above:
‘The thief commeth not but to steal, kill and destroy…’. In other words, no matter what the thief promises you, no matter how alluring, he ultimately has one purpose, to steal from you, to kill you and to destroy you.

‘But I am come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly….’ In other words, I may not put forward tantalising images to captivate you but if you are willing to choose me, in the end you will have life, not death.

It seems quite clear. Postpone your enjoyment briefly, do the work that needs to be done and in the end you have everlasting life. Enjoyment without end.

Do not postpone your enjoyment, borrow against what you do not have. Give me your birthright, and I will give you immediate pleasure but in the end, I will have stolen your chance of everlasting life from you, you will be destined for death and total destruction.

That is what is at stake. When you think of God, donot do passive thinking. Do not consider him as you will a choice of food, or clothing or any other light matter. When you think of God, and making a decision to accept or not to accept his redemption plan in the person of Jesus Christ, realise that you are making an active choice between two mission statements
Thief, steal, kill, destroy
Life, everlasting, abundant.

And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. (Joshua 24:15 KJV)

I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live: That thou mayest love the Lord thy God, and that thou mayest obey his voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto him: for he is thy life, and the length of thy days: that thou mayest dwell in the land which the Lord sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them. (Deuteronomy 30:19, 20 KJV)

Enough Said !!!

ENOUGH SAID!!! - Articles by Selasie Bulmuo

Is The Well Drying Up?

But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life. (John 4:14 KJV).

There is a picture that makes even the most optimistic person sad. It is of a  tree that is dying whose leaves are all withered and it’s branches look like they are about to fall of due to the lack of consistent supply of water. Such a tree receives no nourishment from the severely dry and parched land on which it is planted. Even more depressing is the sight of the people who live in lands that are famine ridden and dry and fruitless with every living thing wasting away as a result of the lack of rain or water. 

Sometimes our very lives feel like that. We are alive but only barely surviving. There is no consistent supply of nourishment to our roots. There are sometimes surface showers but they do not go down deep enough. We are parched and slowly fading away.

Have you lost your zest for life? Does life seem meaningless and purposeless? Are you ravaged by your circumstances so much so that the very life is being sucked out of you daily without ceasing?

There is no one who does no need refuelling and re – energising. Without this constant supply of new life and energy, we loose the vitality for life. That is why packaged holidays are very popular with the working class because there is a need to take a break and recharge our batteries for another long spell of day to day working.

Beyond taking holidays, you need constant supply of food and water and rest. What you refuel with is very important. Some things are toxic and not good for human consumption. Some are sweet to the taste but come with all kinds of health problems. Some look appetising but hold no real substance. Most leave you hungrier than you were before you even fed on them. The human search is for that which satisfies and is pure and does not leave us worse off. When we find such supply we make sure we are able to keep re-stocking it and if we can’t we are more miserable than if we had never tasted of the supply. It is like having a good holiday but never being able to save up to repeat the experience.

What if you found the purest source of nourishment? Something that gave you satisfaction and re-energised you like nothing you’ve ever experienced. Will you not abandon all junk foods (other less satisfying experiences) and stick with it?  What if moreover, you have a promise that the supply will be constant and you will not have to save up or travel far to restock or repeat the experience? What if you can carry the supply with you somehow so that there is no longer any distance between your hunger and your supply? Your life will constantly be at its peak level, with your motivation and ability to take life on, all optimised

That sounds like a dream, doesn’t it? But this is exactly what God offers you through Christ. A constant pure nourishment for your soul and your spirit so that you never run out anymore. You flourish and thrive with the purest form of energy and sustenance for your soul. All your parched grounds get constant supply of water right down to the root, nothing superficial, no need to travel to far away lands in search of the latest craze or trend. You carry newness with you all the time. Even when circumstances seem to be dictating otherwise, you have a supply of life and power and vigour which is from on high and cannot be turned off.

No more parched, dry and thirsty land. No more famine and shortage and starvation. No more lack of energy where there is no motivation, nor reason to go on living. No more constant depression and anxiety and panic about what tomorrow holds.

This dream is real. It can be yours.

‘But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus’. (Philippians 4:19 KJV)

‘For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly’. (Psalm 84:11 KJV)

‘For there is hope of a tree, if it be cut down, that it will sprout again, and that the tender branch thereof will not cease. Though the root thereof wax old in the earth, and the stock thereof die in the ground; Yet through the scent of water it will bud, and bring forth boughs like a plant. But man dieth, and wasteth away: yea, man giveth up the ghost, and where is he?’ (Job 14:7-10 KJV).

‘Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light’. (Matthew 11:28-30 KJV)

‘The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree: he shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon. Those that be planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing; To shew that the Lord is upright: he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him’. (Psalm 92:12-15 KJV)

 So the criteria is simple. It is that you Come (to the Lord) and you Ask (him for living waters)

If you are labouring, tired, dry and heavily burdened, even if you are like a tree cut down and all hope seems to be lost, the lord invites you to himself. He will give grace and glory, he will repair that which is dying, he will give living waters which satisfy. This can be found in his court, in his house, in his presence. Seek him, draw near to him, ask him for living waters. He will not withhold it from you. He will not reject you. He will plant you close to himself and he will put a supply of his spirit, his essence, himself in you. He will teach you to walk uprightly and to change the order of your life so that what seemed hard to do will no longer be hard to do. You will live right and speak right and do right. Your life will come into alignment and balance and you will begin to flourish. Even in old age, you will bring forth fruit. 

Choose the Lord today.

‘The lord is my shepherd. I shall not want……….

 Enough Said!!!!

ENOUGH SAID!!! - Articles by Selasie Bulmuo

When Persuasion Fails……….


For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. (Romans 14:11 KJV).

A prince as long as he is unaware that he is heir to the throne will behave like a mere servant. When the time comes when it is revealed to him that he is a prince imagine how it will feel for him to know that he served as servant to those who he was not meant to be ruled by.

We are the children of God and we are joint heirs with Christ. As long as we are truly unaware of this fact we will continue to be worse than servants to the issues of this world being controlled by the elements and our own lustful needs and desires.

When we regain our sense of identity as children of God , as joint heirs with Christ, as the heirs of promise, waiting in line to rule; our whole perspective changes. We are no longer controlled by the issues of life; what we will eat, what we will wear, where we will lay our heads. We will know what is ours by legal and divine right and we will demand it and possess it. If we are not in possession of it yet, it is often just a matter of time. We do not have to beg for it, it is ours. God knows how to reveal the way to access his provisions which are laid in store for his children.

I cannot imagine Prince William or Prince Harry begging for a place to live and food to eat. It is unthinkable.

Begging for something which is yours does not feel good. No matter how humble and loving you are, you can only bear to beg for something which is yours for a short time.

You beg because; You do not know it is yours, You haven’t paid the price for it, You have abandoned it and it has been reclaimed by someone else, You’ve lost the prove of the evidence that it is yours.

All the above is not true when it comes to a child of God who knows his or her identity.

‘Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will’ (Ephesians 1:3, 5, 6, 11 KJV).

It was decided long ago that you will rule, that you are blessed, that you will be the child of the most high God through Jesus Christ. The price for you has been paid. You are destined for the throne, to rule with him. There is greatness in you and its source is God himself. He made you for this purpose. You are his.

It is imperative therefore that you do not live like a servant or a slave to sin, as one who has to be forced to comply with his master’s wishes and has no future or inheritance or promise of sonship. We were made by God for God and while you live, your life must be submitted to him (God). That is the only way to prove that you understand and know who you are Him. There are no grey areas. You are either submitted to God or you are submitted to the evil one. We all submit to something even if we are unaware of this fact.

God will not beg for your submission to him. Whether you submit or not, you are his. He made you. The question is will you submit now as a son or daughter of God with a promise and an inheritance which is sure? Or will you submit later as a servant of the evil one having forfeited your access to sonship and having allowed yourself to be ruled and ravaged by the enemy of your soul who has deceived and robbed you what God had for you?

One way or another, we all will bow to our maker. How you do it, my friend that is your choice. 

‘For thus saith the Lord that created the heavens; God himself that formed the earth and made it; he hath established it, he created it not in vain, he formed it to be inhabited: I am the Lord; and there is none else. I have not spoken in secret, in a dark place of the earth: I said not unto the seed of Jacob, Seek ye me in vain: I the Lord speak righteousness, I declare things that are right. Tell ye, and bring them near; yea, let them take counsel together: who hath declared this from ancient time? who hath told it from that time? have not I the Lord? and there is no God else beside me; a just God and a Saviour; there is none beside me. Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else. I have sworn by myself, the word is gone out of my mouth in righteousness, and shall not return, That unto me every knee shall bow, every tongue shall swear’. (Isaiah 45:18, 19, 21-23 KJV)

 Enough Said !!!!

ENOUGH SAID!!! - Articles by Selasie Bulmuo

Authentic Dreams Don’t Die.



The first day of the week cometh Mary Magdalene early, when it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre, and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulchre. (John 20:1 KJV)

Lots of people are not particularly enthused about Mondays because it is the first day of the working week. Even if you love your job the fact that your weekend is over can sometimes be quite depressing but only if the weekend was a good one.

Some of us are busier at weekends than during the weekdays. After a very eventful weekend, the last thing I want to do is wake up early on a Monday morning. And even if I have to, the last place I will want to go to is to the cemetery or the grave where my dream is buried. Not only is it a creepy place to go to, I will not want to be reminded about where my loved one, my dream and what I thought was my future is buried. I mean what is the use of that? I will rather forget about it.

So after a gruelling weekend of seeing her Lord and master being tortured and killed, after being witness to his decimation, and hearing the previously adoring crowd shouting, ‘crucify him!’, after seeing his body being thorn and bruised beyond recognition, after seeing the miracle worker, great teacher, sent from above subjected to a common criminal’s death, an embarrassing one at that, witnessed by many and mocked by many: if I were Mary Magdalene, I will not be seen anywhere near his grave especially not on the first day of a new week.

So what made her go there? What made her go to the place where dead things are? It was a reluctance to let go. A faithfulness and loyalty that disappointment and disillusionment could not curtail. A refusal to give in to the final verdict. She will rather wake up early to sit by her dead dream than to live without one because she knew that this dream was different. It was not meant to die. If it did then there must be more to the story than what she had witnessed.

Sometimes, we do not wait to see the real ending of what seems dead to us. If you truly handled it and are a witness to its efficacy, and it’s authenticity then you will not give up on it even when it appears dead.

If you are true to yourself, you will know when something in your life is above-board, is beyond ordinary and needs holding onto no matter the decimation it has been subjected to.

I am yet to see anyone throw away a £50 note because it is dirty or crumbled or wet or even torn. You will wake up early, go back to the rubbish bin where it was dumped. You will retrieve it and clean it up, repair it and use it. Because you know beyond all doubts what it’s value is.

This Jesus, this faith, this Christian life is worth going back to the graveside for. It is worth retrieving. Yes people have brought reproach to the name of Christ. People have done horrible things in the name of religion, but this one, this Jesus, this Christianity, we have tasted of it, we have handled it and it is different. It is no ordinary faith. It is authentic. It is valuable and it’s worth standing in each dead place were it has been defamed and buried and holding on to it until the end.

So that bishop has even found to be gay. That church has mis-appropriated your money. That mighty man or woman of God got divorced. If your faith has been affected, I want to tell you that seemingly dead or alive, Jesus is worth holding on to.

You know how the story went for Mary Magdalene. She was the first to see the resurrected Lord. She was the first to see the ‘authentic’ rise again. Because she was forgiven much, she loved much. Because she truly experienced it, nothing, not even obvious death on a cursed cross, could shut it down inside her.

Where are the Mary Magdalenes of our time? Come on. Let’s us prove to the world once again that:

‘That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the Word of life; (For the life was manifested, and we have seen it, and bear witness, and shew unto you that eternal life, which was with the Father, and was manifested unto us;) That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ. And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full’. (1 John 1:1-4 KJV).

Jesus said: ‘And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them? I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?’ (Luke 18:7, 8 KJV)

We shall be like Job. We will hold fast our faith and even when all is thrashed around us, we will say ‘For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth’: (Job 19:25 KJV).

My friend, don’t give up. Wake up! Stand by your dream! Till it is resurrected.

‘Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this? (John 11:25, 26 KJV)

Your vision, your dream shall Iive again.

‘But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you’. (Romans 8:11 KJV).

Enough Said!!!

ENOUGH SAID!!! - Articles by Selasie Bulmuo

What Every Man Needs. What Every Man Wants.

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; (1 Peter 3:1 KJV)

Men are not won by words which they cannot obey. They are however powerless when it comes to the impact of conversation. Conversation does not refer to what you say, but rather what you communicate. Communication which is wholesome, which is an experience in itself, the kind which is not just in words but is also a way of life, the conversation of the way you carry yourself, the way you extend yourself to your man, how you invite him in to the center of your life, how you serve and offer your giftings, that kind of conversation either wins your man to you or drives him away from you.

Men are not won by nagging words of harsh criticism or negative attitudes. They are won by the unique experience of you as a woman. Your dynamism and positivity. Your enthusiasm and hospitality. Your mystery and self respect. These are virtues that are not demonstrated in isolation. They are experienced only if you as a person embodies them. They cannot be faked over a long period of time.

In your interactions with your man, are you successful as an experience they cannot forget or get enough of? If so they will return again and again for more. They will be yours for keeps. I dont mean just sexually. I mean that nameless quality which the bile simply call virtue. That excellence that is equivalent to any tall order made on you or on your character or disposition as a woman. That sunshine in the rain quality. This is what attracts a man and is able to hold his attention in the long term. It takes more than your physical beauty, unless the man is a fickle one indeed.

I am not talking about manipulation, that is the device of a ‘strange woman’ and is not maintainable long term. You have to be authentically you, true to yourself and if that self needs changing, it is best changed by the word of God. A true change is evidenced by your ability to inculcate that change in your way of life long term.

So what do men need?

A man needs a reliable woman. Reliable in what she stands for and in what she is able to offer. Not one that changes with every wind so he is never sure what he is coming home to. He needs to be able to find in you a constant supply of ‘water in his own cistern’ to refresh and rejuvenate him and make him feel like a man. If he has to constantly drink waters out of his own cistern then he must find the fulfillment the word of God says he must find.

‘Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?’ (Proverbs 5:15-20 KJV)

An already refreshed man needs no water. It is the dry and the parched man who needs refreshing. A good woman is not put off by the ‘before’ demeanour of her man but is motivated by what she carries that can give him a great ‘after’ demeanour. How does the ‘before’ and ‘after’ picture of your man compare? How does he look after the experience of you?  Is he worse for wear?

I see so many men who look like the weight of the world is upon their shoulders. Some speak big to pump themselves up and others simply withdraw from the game of life, satisfied with their present lot and admitting to themselves that they are not up to the task that other men aspire to. Their Cisterns are probably dry. They find no refreshing there.

Every man wants to be ‘a man’ and be recognised as such. They want to be seen as measuring up to the standard, as top of the pack, as the best at everything they do. They want to be able to shout out ‘Yeah, I am the man! ‘

You will agree with me that this is a very publicly demonstrative thing whose basis must be set in private over and over again. Unless your private applause of your man is validated by others in the ‘public’ as valid, a man is not satisfied. A man’s worth and value must be seen by his contemporaries, accepted by his enemies and his adversaries and acknowledged by other men who deem themselves as superior to him. This is the public arena in which he has to prove himself. A woman who is able to help him accomplish this; that is the woman most men are looking for. It takes a woman’s love, humility, expressiveness, adoration, praise, submission to her man, her beauty, gentleness, her truthfulness and honesty, her ownership of all his faults and his talents, so that she can apply herself to the task of helping him to trully become all that he yearns to be, both privately and publicly.

Unless her private praise of him matches what he hears and sees about himself outside, he cannot live it. This is because he will continue to doubt himself and he will not believe her praise is true until he can prove it to himself. This is why it is sad to pretend that your husband is what he is not. You have to acknowledge what he is, at least to yourself but more importantly you must identify and grasp what he can become, his potential and address him in the light of that until it becomes a reality.

A man needs to find his true self in the place of functionality, not idleness. A good woman helps him do so.  It is in taking action that he learns his faults and weaknesses and his strengths and accepts the help he needs to acheive his potentials. A man needs a woman who encourages his functionality, not his excuses or his laziness. The man in him can only be acknowledged and applauded publicly in the place of functionality.  He needs to prove his worth. He needs to be able to demonstrate his prowess, and hear his name resound in his own ears as he does so. Unless a man is supported and allowed to function as a man (that is, allowed to make decisons, exercise authority and bear the responsibility and consequences of the decisions he makes), he does not learn how to exercise power under control. He becomes an abuser, because he must do something that makes him feel like a man.This is where some of the male vices, including domestic violence unfortunately come from. It is also where the ego that drives men to achieve comes from. If it is not harnessed and fed right, it does not yield good fruits. It only yields wastage and loss and depression.

A man needs a woman who can hand him the tools because sometimes they just cant see it. This is what Jezebel tried to do for Ahab but in a very very bad way. Esther succeeded in her attempt not only saving a kingdom but saving her own people as well. Men are concrete thinkers, not abstract, feelings orientated or highly intuitive beings. There are exceptions though so dont make a rule of it. For a man to be involved in anything, you need to provide him with the tools to deliver. Both material and emotional tools. Give him a visual, a mental picture, a reason to think he is making the right decision, making the right moves. Give him the tools to work with.That is why God made everything before he made man and then gave him such things as he made for him to develop further and to replenish the earth. A man cannot work with emptiness. They cannot manage ‘a little’ unless they absolutely have to. They will try but they will be miserable doing so. They need all the tools assembled before them and with encouragement and the right motivating factor, I  tell you what, they will do a mean job of fixing anything that needs fixing.

A man needs Adventure not chores. A woman can take next to nothing and make something out of it. If you give what a woman is able to come up with to a man he will take it on an adventure of a life time. He will come up with so many different ways of having fun with it because he will be restless until he has discovered all the things he can make from and with what has been given to him. If a man is not having fun with what he is doing or what he has, he begins to see it as work and not adventure, it holds no mystery for him, it becomes routine and he tends to withdraw from it.

Some of the most depressed men are the ones who are doing 9am to 5pm jobs not out of choice but necessity. Deep down, there may be other things they would rather do if they had the money and the time. So if a man is working to support you and his children, he sees it more as a sacrifice he is making for his family and expects gratitude for it. This gratitude must not be expressed in words only but in service, in submission and compliance with the little indulgences he allows himself which he needs to feed his starving masculine ego. Don’t tell a man he is wasting resources. It wounds his ego although truth be told he probably is wasting resources but now you know why. It’s because he needs an adventure.

A man wants a woman who knows and shows that he is not useless. There is no useless man. There are men who are lacking the necessary enablement to come into their own. He simply needs someone to identify his ‘shout’ and echo it to him in many different ways so much so that he begins to hear himself shouting it out, ‘Yeah I am the man’! You will see that within a short time he becomes confident and admirable. He does not need a quarrelsome, disrespectful, intimidating woman.

If a man gets hooked up with a woman who is not an enabler, he remains as he is, or worse, a duller version of his former self. Enabling a man is simply making him feel like a man so he does not have to demand it. It does not mean you become his slave or a door mat. It means you become his match, intelligence for intelligence, wit for wit, you give him beauty and softness, whispers of greatness in his ears, you challenge him respectfully to come up to who he can be.

As per the main verse above, a man needs subjection from his wife. He needs to know he has access to you and what you have to offer. It brings the creativeness out of him or the bully if he is not a man who is submitted to God. So God asks all wives to be in subjection to their own husbands. The man needs to see that he is in control of his kingdom otherwise he never believes he is a king and will continue to act the opposite. He needs to see the probability of conquering his challenges even if it’s just a little one as this enables him to keep going. Otherwise, he will move on to the next big thing which has the potential of being conquered. Sometimes that’s another woman who makes him feel good enough as a man. As a woman if you are submitted to a good man he brings out the best in you too. Most men like to be able to boast about their achievements or at the very least have others do so on their behalf. They like to show off what they’ve got. You, as his woman are his first advertisement.

A man’s poverty or current dismal state is not an excuse to turn him away from his assignment, his positioning or his cause. Don’t disrespect a man because he is poor.

Neither shalt thou countenance a poor man in his cause. (Exodus 23:3 KJV).

Strive not with a man without cause, if he have done thee no harm. (Proverbs 3:30 KJV).

It is taboo to a man to be reproached or disrespected in his own house or territory by his own people particularly his wife and children.

For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him: But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance. (Psalm 55:12, 13 KJV).

Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find? (Proverbs 20:6 KJV)

What a man can do for himself

  • The worse thing that can happen to a man is to stop hearing his own shout whether within or without. What a man needs is to be proud of himself, and to have the assurance in himself that he is not a failure or a disappointment. It is on this basis that he remains faithful, both to his tasks, to his relationships and to himself. Otherwise, the switch goes off inside him and he simply shuts down. Faithfulness is required by God from every man, because God has committed resources to him and he must work them, grow them otherwise he becomes an irresponsible steward if he cannot develop what God has put at his disposal. A woman was made by God also as a resource bank for the man who marries her. She was made and brought to man to complete him. Inside her are all the reserve resources he needs. As a steward he must be able to access them, utilise them and develop them further. A woman must become a better version of herself in the hands of a good steward (man). ‘Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful’. (1 Corinthians 4:2 KJV).
  • A man must keep hope alive no matter what. Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life. (Proverbs 13:12 KJV). A man must commit himself to God so that his desires can come through because it is God that can direct his ways. The earlier he does so the quicker his hopes and dreams can become a reality. ‘Man’s goings are of the Lord; how can a man then understand his own way’? (Proverbs 20:24 KJV).’ Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile. When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long’. (Psalm 32:2, 3 KJV)
  • Every man must realise that he was made for an assignment and God expects him to find it and deliver, which is what every resource in his life is for. Therefore God takes it seriously when a man is distracted or manipulated or disrespected so much so that he is disabled from doing what God has given him responsibility for. Respect however must be earned, not insisted upon. ‘To subvert a man in his cause, the Lord approveth not’. (Lamentations 3:36 KJV).
  •  It is up to every man to get the knowledge and understanding and wisdom he needs so he can achieve optimally. ‘A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge increaseth strength’. (Proverbs 24:5 KJV). Every man needs to be wise and humbly acknowledge the weakness within. It is a difficult thing for a man to do.  However, unless he is wise, he reduces his strength. ‘It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. He sitteth alone and keepeth silence, because he hath borne it upon him. He putteth his mouth in the dust; if so be there may be hope. He giveth his cheek to him that smiteth him: he is filled full with reproach’. (Lamentations 3:26-30 KJV)

For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life: To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? (Proverbs 6:23-27 KJ

Enough Said!!

ENOUGH SAID!!! - Articles by Selasie Bulmuo

What Every Woman Needs. What Every Woman Wants.

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 KJV).

When young men are growing up and face challenges and become emotional or weepy they are often told to ‘man up’. Without asking for explanations, they automatically know what it means to ‘man up’ or to be man. It usually means that they have to be brave, strong, courageous and get on with it without being ‘wimpy’, or ‘soft’

I have however never heard anyone say to a woman ‘be a woman’ or ‘woman up’. They will use the actual real words. They will say, be gentle, be strong, be patient, be brave, be serviceable, be generous, be quiet, speak up, be forgiving, be wise, be hospitable, be calm, be patient and others similar terminologies.Women are the most diverse and yet unique set of God’s creation.

There is therefore no agreed universal definition of what it means to be a woman. Every woman is unique. They come in different shapes and forms. The loud ones, the quiet ones, the shy ones, the overly confident ones, the sharp tongued ones, the reticent ones, the list is endless.

There’s really no good or bad way to be a woman. The only exception is if a woman uses her womanly attributes to disobey God and to practice treachery and wickedness. That is when you hear statements like ‘hell has no fury like a woman scorned’. It has been said that a woman has the power of a kingdom in her hands. Kings are made by her and kings are brought down by her. Anyway, that is besides the point.

What does it mean to be a woman?
What did the original model of a woman look like?

The original model was made as a response to a specific need identified by God. She was made to measure, made fit for a specific purpose, made to suit, custom made model without duplicate.

Every woman since then is made as an answer to a specific need. Designed and made to fit her particular mould. If that mould requires her to have a loud personality, then that’s how she should be. If it requires her to be quiet that is what she should be. Her favour which God has on her life is tied up in her being who God made her to be because that favour goes with the particular task or mould or need she was made to be suited to. If she tries to be anything else she cannot walk in it’s favour because it doesnot suit her. Blessed is a man who finds a woman who is secure in herself and is walking in her assigned favour. If she becomes his wife, that man will qualify to reap of that favour which is of God.

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22 KJV)

What every woman needs is to be loved, affirmed and cherished for who she is as a person first and foremost rather than just for her role as a wife or a mother.

Hidden inside every woman, no matter how hostile she may seem is a little girl who needs her unique type of  ‘girliness’ to be affirmed and validated whether it be a ‘tomboy’ girliness or a ‘teddy bear lady like’ girliness. She needs to be allowed to evolve and find her true self.

Without your ‘little girl’ – your inner girl being affirmed, you grow into a woman with ‘needs’ which is what puts a lot of single men off. Not everyman wants a clingy, neurotic type woman as a wife. Neither do they want a stubborn ‘I will do whatever I want’ type.

A woman’s personality needs to be submitted to God more and more as she grows otherwise she becomes even more strange as she grows. Just look at certain middle aged women who have still not found their very own places in life, they are hard to live with and hard to please. It is often blamed on hormonal changes, but could there be more to it than that? The more you are able to submit to God, the more you find your true ‘womaness’.  As a woman you need to let God lead you, speak to you, comfort you, heal you. When it comes to God, you need to have a quiet, listening attitude as he is the only one who can direct you towards your ‘true north’, your definite destiny. Let your strength and value be in ‘….the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price’. (1 Peter 3:4 KJV).

If you as a woman do not fear God, there is no way you can discover the totality of who he made you to be. You will aim to be like someone else. Unfortunately or should I rather say fortunately, you were not made with those specifications in mind and so you cannot maintain being who you are not authentically. You definitely cannot do so long term without frustrating yourself and others. The bible calls such women ‘strange women’ and a good man is advised to stay away from her. In her desperation to be what she is not, she causes a lot of confusion not only for herself but for all those around her. She cannot really deliver what she seems to be promising.

A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing. (Proverbs 9:13 KJV).

When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words; Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God. For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead. None that go unto her return again, neither take they hold of the paths of life. (Proverbs 2:10, 11, 16-19 KJV).

Don’t use your attributes as a woman in ways God did not plan for you to use.

Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised! (Proverbs 31:30 AMP)

The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility. (Proverbs 15:33 KJV)

Anyone who wants to receive honour must first be humble. An honourable woman is a humble woman whose value is very entrenched in the fear of the Lord.

God requires that she be honoured as per our main scripture above.

So what does a good, secure woman want?

She wants you to handle her according to the value of who she really is and not who you want her to be. You have to get to know her. You have to live with her according to that knowledge.

She wants the honour that is due her. No one honours a weak thing. We should however honour a strong thing in a weak vessel. It takes real grace to maintain greatness in a weak vessel. For the sake of what the vessel carries, you honour the vessel.

A woman wants to be treated like an equal, valued partner, not a subservient second fiddle. We are all heirs together – we inherit together. A woman is as much a signatory to the heavenly account as a man is. Without her signature, the cheque may very well not be accepted. Beware, both her husband’s prayers and her prayers can be hindered.

A woman just wants to be allowed and supported to be all that God made her to be and not be forced to be a replica or duplicate of her husband’s mother, sister, an ex girlfriend, or that other woman he so admires.

Enough said!!!