POEMS

Growing Old Gracefully

image

Advancing forcefully forward
The years have left their mark
A sprinkling of grey
On that bushy eyebrow
Left untamed by life

Life – now that is a different ball game
I heard a Sage once say
Forget the past
Let go, no regrets
Move on
Press forward
Achieve your goals
I have done so
In leaps and bounds
My life does make me proud

What the Sage forgot to say
Is that time and age does catch up with you
This mirror hanging on the wall
Has never really interested me
I whizzed by each day
Never saying hello
To the changing image
Of what remains when perpetual youth departs.

Life does insist we pause
So it can gloat at the effect it’s had
When we compare our present image
To what we thought will never fade
Youthful zest and vigour
Ego so full, irresistible vitality
Replaced with what we can only call ‘old’.

As I pause to take a glance
I am entranced by the image I see
Advancing forcefully forward
Does truly leave it’s mark
Not only in dreams and goals achieved
And many Accolades gathered
But also in tired lines,
Sculpted and etched on a once picture perfect face

Looking at my altered matured visage
And the sprinkling of grey in my moustache
It’s a peculiar, distinguished look
That tells the story of a life fully lived

I can’t decide which is more captivating
The present image or the past one
Untested youthfulness
Is gorgeous and intoxicating
But the grandeur of the aged
Is hidden behind wrinkles and a knowing look
Well worth it if embraced

I agree with what you say, Mirror
Life has made me a Sage too
Yes, I have truly advanced forcefully
In more ways than one
And the result is very captivating
But only to the well trained eye.

POEMS

Under Siege (Imprisoned By Emotions)

I simply want to be happy

I simply want to be me

I admit I often get confused

Which kind of happy I mean

It depends on the mood I’m in

I am besieged by emotions

They just won’t let me be

 

Today I’m super happy

Yesterday I couldn’t care less

I was kind of morose last week

When I suddenly felt so alone

Misunderstood and unappreciated

It’s quite a shock to feel that

In the midst of kind and thoughtful people

Who sometimes get on my very last nerve

For reasons  I just can’t fathom

 

There was this day I remember so well

I received great great news,

News I thought will never come

All my emotions went haywire

I just didn’t know what to feel

 

One minute I wanted peace and quiet

The next minute I wanted to scream

So I made demands and shouted at everybody

They thought, ‘let’s give her some space’

That made me mad as hell

Its not space I want, not at all

Why can’t people read between the lines

How could they leave me now

When I need lots of hugs and cheers

A bit of fuss will do to make me feel important

After all, this is my big day

The day I have waited so long for

 

So after a few minutes of misery

I guilted them into coming back

It was obvious they couldn’t figure out

Which mood was in control of me now

They sat gingerly awaiting my cue

All of a sudden I came alive

 

I cooked a big big meal

‘It’s celebration time’, I announced

‘I finally made manager in my workplace

The first female to break the glass ceiling’

I have slaved and sweated for years,

Done things I couldnt begin to tell you

Now my dream has finally come true

I am now officially successful and it feels like a waste

 

Halfway through dinner I broke down in tears

Big huge sobs of despair

I was quite shocked myself

This should be one of the happiest days of my life

But I simply felt hollow inside

Nothing like I imagined I would feel

How can I celebrate

When I have to work longer hours now

Longer hours from my children and spouse

Who I have nearly lost along the way

 

What kind of wife and mum will I be

What does the future hold

What more would I have to sacrifice

Drained, Uncertain, Confused

Angry at the unfairness of it all

Resolutely determined to crack the code

To solve this mystery of emotional dilemmas

That has eluded womanhood for centuries

 

I simply want to be happy

I simply want to be me

I never seem to quite get there

Always besieged between the two

I really love taking care of my home

And I desperately love being boss at work

I feel guilty when I am there

And depressed when I am not.

 

I am under siege from my emotions

They mirror my tumultuous life

All I want is to be the woman I dreamt I could be

Just to be happy with the choices I make

All I want is to be free to choose

To be me and to be happy as me

Whatever that will be or entail

But I am a woman under siege

Who has lost the real definition

Of what it means to be me

The compass is distorted, the map is unclear

Which one is the route for my lifelong pursuit of Happiness.