The significance attributed to a thing or a person is subjective. You might find something valuable and beautiful which I may not.
You cannot bribe your way to significance in someone’s life by virtue of the things you do for them. There are people who will reject you or leave you no matter the investment you have made in their lives. It is not about you. It is about them and their assessment of your significance.
So don’t belittle yourself when you are rejected or set aside. Continue to hold your self in high esteem. That rejection is simply a demonstration of the significance that person places on you and not a measure of your worth. Their rejection of you is subjective to them.
You will find that even without changing anything about yourself, there is someone else who considers you significant.
So friend, be yourself. Know your worth. Don’t let your needs make you needy to the point of buying your way to significance in someone else’s life. If you catch yourself saying, ‘ how could they do that to me after all I have done for them?’ then you probably were buying your way into significance in someone’s life.
If so, you may not be able to maintain that significance and you are in a queue towards rejection and disappointment.
Someone recently asked me three lovely questions. Since I will have to give them my answers tomorrow (actually today as it is 3 am now), I am sitting down to reflect and find answers straight from my heart. So here goes……..
- What identity means to you?
Identity to me means understanding all the facets of my life and how they fit into the big picture so that I am able to accept who I truly am (both my past and present) and to use this as a stepping stone and something to work with on my journey to becoming all I am destined to be ( which because of my faith is totally linked to God’s revelation to me of myself and my future).
My identity is found and expressed in
Who I know I am (Not just according to me but also according to the word of God)
The things I do – My life’s purpose, the reason I think I exist
The things I refuse to do – My boundaries and principles and Values
My commitment to what and who I am becoming.
(Notice, I didn’t include what I have, because that can be taken away and I still have to be me).
2.Why you write?
I found out at an early age that I loved solitude and my own company. When I am alone and undisturbed, inspired thoughts come to me, which often clarify something I have experienced or observed in my own life or in the lives of others. These often help me answer the ‘W’ questions – Why? What? Who? When? Where? Etc. When I was a child I did not know how to use this gift properly and will write long letters to my parents, friends etc expressing my disgust at something which they had done which I felt was wrong.
It was only later that I realised that my writing was a gift from God to be used specifically to question life and to provide answers or routes out of dysfunction. Many find ‘life’ difficult and confusing. Many write to educate others on different topics. Unlike them I do not consider myself an expert. I write first and foremost to give myself a chance to make sense of life. I write so that I can take a walk of reflection with someone else, so they know they are not alone in the way they feel, so my words can give expression to what they feel but cannot fully express or make sense of as yet. In coming to an understanding of the ‘whys’ they can perhaps begin to live life on an even keel with some strength and fortitude, finding ad paving a way through the darkness that sometimes surrounds us all. I like to think that I am a voice in the gap between where you are now and where you will like to be. At least that is my aim.
I am also preacher, so I tend to write messages putting my own reflective stamp on them so readers can understand the word of God and what it says about them a bit better.
I think I will have mental overload if I don’t write. My brain and thinking processes will get blocked. Writing is almost an offloading process for me.
Writing comes easily to me. It is a great blessing which I am only now beginning to take seriously.
3. What it means to be a woman?
Well, since I could very easily write volumes on this, to help me be brief, I will answer it in a poem.
Being Woman is versatility
Changing change itself
Being Woman is richness held in store
A bank that never runs out
Being Woman is beauty covering strength
Making the undo-able do-able
With grace and fortitude
Being woman is unveiling true greatness
Through sheer tenacity of spirit and grit
Without showing signs of breaking a sweat
Being woman is gentleness that remains true
And is not disfigured by pressure
Being woman is wisdom expressed
In more ways than the obvious
Being woman is elegance
Revealed through humility
Being woman is virtue
Having the ability to rise to every challenge
Being woman is Influence
Often without saying a word
A Woman is:
Softness, enfolding pain and healing it
Hardness, bringing change even without provision
Endurance, the expression of staying power
The kind only God can give
Woman is me
Whatever I need to be
To meet the needs in my world
Woman is embracing my uniqueness
As a treasure and a gift
That cannot be undone
The future awaits me
It is all mine
I am WOMAN !!!
(Because You Are)
I am created
I am called
I am anointed
For this cause
I am filled
With God’s Spirit
To bring forth, to testify
I am bless
To be a blessing
I am grateful
I am honoured
I am humbled
Approved by God
Washed by the blood of Jesus
I am forgiven
Saved by His Grace
I am a disciple
I am a follower of Christ
I am a friend of God
Sent from Heaven by God to touch lives
I am separated
I am a priest, I am a king
I am the branch
Abiding in the true vine
Forever in His presence
I am God’s beloved
I am who God says that I am
I am a child of the King “KoningsKind”
Abba Father, You Are therefore I am.
(Therefore I am)
Since the beginning
Three in One, the One is Three
In the end You Are
You reign for eternity
Creator of Heaven; Your dwelling place
The earth beneath; your foot stool
The waters under the earth
There is none like you
Creator of man
Creator of beast
The fowls of the air
The whales of the deep
You Are big, You Are beautiful
Everything is in your presence
The God of my fathers
The God of Abraham
The God of Isaac
The God of Jacob
The God of the children of Israel
You Are my God
You Are the great I Am that I Am
The son of God
My wisdom, my strength
You Are my everything
You Are the true vine
The Light of the world
Holy, only You Are Holy
Merciful, Almighty God
To You belongs all the Glory
Abba Father, I am because You Are